Erik tossed in his sleep, face lined, body tense, clutching the sheets as if in pain.  With a small exclamation he woke, eyes wide and breathing fast. He sat up, shoulders hunched. Slowly, he looked down and then buried his face in his hands, trying to keep himself calm.

Nikita snuggled closer, eyes opening slightly.  "Master?"

Erik gave an exclamation of shock, surprise and revulsion and quickly pushed Nikita from the bed. "You did this, didn't you?!" he yelled, voice near hysterical. "This never happened before, what did you do?!"

Nikita looked up, eyes wide and confused.  "Master?" he asked again in tearful worry.  "I'm sorry, Master!"  His eyes lowered and he bowed double on the floor, body shivering.  "I'm sorry!" he repeated in a choked voice.

Erik looked up and his face crumbled. "No, no..." he said, voice miserable. "I-- I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-- I--" He looked down at his lap, then averted his eyes from the lump there and quickly piled covers over it. "I just... don't understand why I'm losing... losing control..." he said in a near whisper.

Nikita looked up, hair tumbling into his face.  "No one can control their body's needs and wants, Master," he said softly.  "I'm sorry.  You shouldn't have had to....  What do you want me to do?  I can stay down here, or I can take care of you.  You could send me away for doing this to you.  What do you want, Master?"

"I-- I don't know..." Erik answered quietly. "I want it to go away! I don't want it to exist! It's going to..." He trailed off, voice unsure. "I should want to... I mean..." He buried his face in his hands and moaned miserably. "It-- It's dirty... and-- and wrong and I shouldn't--  I shouldn't want to..." He took a deep shuddering breath. "I don't want to lose control...." he said in a very small voice.

"I can show you how to be in control," Nikita offered softly.  "Then you can concentrate and you won't lose control."

Erik looked up again, expression mixed. "But... I made you dirty..." he said, voice sounding almost ashamed of himself.

Nikita watched Erik in wonder.  "Master...." he said softly.  Rising to his knees, he leaned against the edge of the bed.  "Master, nothing you do could dirty me," he said fervently.  "You make me clean.  Doing something that has no meaning is dirty, but serving you is the purest thing I have ever done!"

Erik looked at the boy a moment before dropping his eyes again. "You must be cold... you can come back into the bed..." he said softly.

Nikita brightened and climbed into bed, snuggling close to Erik.  After a moment he pulled back slightly.  "Oh," he said softly, reaching down to caress the bulge under the blankets.

Erik flinched, pulling away. "Don't..." he said softly, keeping his eyes averted. "It'll just make it worse...."

"It will hurt if you don't take care of it," Nikita said softly.  "Let me and it will be gone soon."

"But it'll be messy...." Erik said, voice even. "How can I stay king of Demons if I can't control my own body?"

"Master eats when his body is hungry, and sleeps when his body is tired.  When his body wants release, should he not seek it?"

Erik sighed. "But if this is natural... why is it only occurring now?"

There was a long pause.  "Master has had a hard life.  Some things you need to be shown you need."  Nikita cuddled against Erik's side.  "To stay healthy, the body's needs should be seen to."

Erik sighed once more. "Another weakness..." he said in a soft voice that bordered depression.

"Master isn't weak.  Knowing the body can be strength.  Please, Master, don't fear your body."

"I don't fear it... I fear not being able to control it..." Erik admitted, voice still soft. "If I'm not in perfect control, I can be taken advantage of... and then they'll get to me and I'll fall like all the others, and they will have been proven right."

"Desire isn't desire for anything.  It can be controlled.  Like you control what you eat to make you stronger, and you control your sleep so you stay alert.  One of the first things we learn is to use our desire so we can't be controlled.  Someone who doesn't give in to desire is easier to control because the tension builds."  Nikita looked up into Erik's eyes.  "I want to help Master be strong."

Erik's shoulders slumped in defeat. "I have to do this?" he asked in a small voice. "Every night?"

"No, Master," Nikita said with a gentle smile.  "A time or two a week is enough for most people."  He reached up hesitantly to touch Erik's cheek gently.

"Then why, if I-- just last night... did this happen now?"

Nikita hesitated.  "Maybe your body just wants to test out the new experience?"

Erik sighed. "So my body is now telling me what to do... wonderful..."

Nikita snuggled close, fitting his head under Erik's chin.  "Anything you want, Master."

Erik was quiet a long while. "You won't tell anyone, correct?" he asked very softly.

"No, Master."

Erik was again quiet. "But I don't want to lose control again," he said, voice still soft.

There was a moment of silence.  "Master, would you take your true form?" Nikita asked tentatively.  "Nikita-- I want to know how to pleasure you whatever form you're in."

Erik looked down, then slowly closed his eyes. His wings unfurled out, hair growing long and pale, and he gave a long exhale as if he had just loosened his belt after a large meal.

Nikita gazed at Erik, sighed deeply.  "Master," he whispered worshipfully.  He raised a hand slowly to brush across the length of one wing.

Erik shuddered slightly, eyes wide and surprised. He gave a small gasp and pulled away, a hand over his heart. "Why...?" he asked, looking at the wing as if it had betrayed him.

"Master?" Nikita said unsurely.  "Did I hurt you?"  He held his hand still raised, but pulled away a bit.  "What's wrong?"

"N- no," Erik replied, looking back at Nikita. "It-- it--" he faltered, trying to come up with the words. He finally bowed his head. "It's never--" he sighed. "It doesn't feel like that when I'm grooming it..." he finally said. "I don't understand... it's like... like I'm not in my own body anymore, it's acting like it's new...." he lamented.

Nikita bit his lip.  "Parts of your body are more sensitive."  He traced down his sides.  "My sides.  Your wings.  And the body changes functions for desire, as it does for sleep.  You feel stronger.  It's not bad."  He reached out again.  "Let me show you?"

Erik hesitated a moment, then nodded, trying to get himself to relax.

Nikita traced his hands gently over Erik's wings, leaning up to catch the man's lips.  His eyes closed and he let himself fall into the act of touch.
 

Erik gave a deep shuddering exhale as he came. Closing his eyes he leaned his forehead against Nikita's back, trying to keep himself from tensing as the feeling of guilt conflicted with the pleasure he had been feeling up to that moment.  He had dirtied Nikita again...

Nikita sighed, pulling Erik's arm around his chest so he could kiss the man's palm.  "What's wrong, Master?" he asked after a moment.  "Should I have done something else?"

Erik shook his head slightly. "I don't think there's anything that can be done.... No matter what, in order to purge this need... I soil you..." he said in a soft voice. "If there's a way to prevent that, do make it be known... I'm almost afraid to pull out because I'll see what I've done..."

Nikita half turned, concern in his eyes.  "You don't soil me, Master.  This is..."  He paused, searching for words.  "My honour.  To have you touch me like this is gloriously right."

"But... but it isn't the touch that's dirty..." Erik responded, shoulders slumping.  "If touch were all that there were, I would have no problem, but..." He sighed.  "Why must this be so messy?"

This time the boy turned fully, wrapping his arms around his Master.  "If I knew another way..." he said, miserably.  "Perhaps with another - maybe a girl - Master wouldn't feel as bad?"

Erik looked repulsed at the thought. "No," he shook his head. "There is no way I could do this with someone else... There's none else whom I trust or respect.  I just can't help feeling that I've dirtied you with..." he made a small face. "We should bathe quickly..." he sighed. "We can talk when we're clean again...."

Nikita smiled softly and rose.  "Shall I prepare the bath for you?"

Erik nodded.

Before long, Nikita was kneeling next to the bed.  "It's ready for you, Master," he said softly.

Erik gave a small almost sad smile. "I should have them install a tub for you as well, so you don't have to be dirty waiting for me to finish..." he sighed, getting to his feet and walking to the bath.

Nikita shifted a bit before calling after Erik.  "Master?  If you don't mind... we could share the bath...."

Erik debated a moment.  "That would work," he agreed.

The boy rose, joining Erik.  He took the bath things and slid into the water.  "How can I help you, Master?"

Erik slid into the bath as well, being careful to leave Nikita room.  He hesitated a moment, then gave a small smile. "If... you wouldn't mind, could you help me wash my back? It's rather a pain to get around and groom the wings...."

Nikita smiled delightedly.  He moved closer, touching Erik's wings almost reverently as he cleaned his Master's wings.

Erik gave a deep sigh, relaxing slightly. It was rather odd, having someone else handle his wings. He rarely had them out, never the less let anyone else touch them.  "Nikita..." he said after a long quiet.

"Master?" Nikita answered, leaning his face against the soft feathers of one wing.

Erik gave a small smile. "You like this form, don't you?" he asked, voice soft.

"Nikita likes anything that is Master's," the boy said in an equal tone.  "Master is beautiful and wonderful."

"Mm," Erik said, noncommittally. "Do you like this one better then my other?"

Nikita looked uncertain a moment before recalling that Erik wanted only truth from him.  "This is Master's true form," he said slowly.  "That he shows it to his pet honours the pet greatly."  Closing his eyes again to lean against Erik's back, he continued.  "I love this form."

"You're not a pet," Erik admonished gently. "You are my cherished companion."  He gave a slow exhale, relaxing slightly more. "More so then my human appearance?" he asked after a moment.  "If I were to pick just one form and forever discard the other, which would you think I should chose?"

"Must you?" Nikita asked, clinging to the man tightly.

Erik sighed. "I almost have already," he said, tone melancholy. "I just don't know.... I mean..." He shifted slightly, sitting up more. "What good are these wings to me? I can't fly with them here, I can't even show them off, because it marks me as being weak! It's bloody frustrating!" he said, scowling moodily.

"Masters wings don't make him weak!" Nikita protested.  "What some think is not what all think!  Master must do what he wants and nothing else!"

Erik was quiet a long while, thinking. "I don't know if I know what I want anymore...." he admitted. "I wanted to be king. I am.  I wanted to prove I was just as good, if not better then everyone else. I have.  I've lasted longer then most kings have! But what's the point of it all? I stay here until I die? Until they finally beat me and dispose of me? What?"  He sighed, slumping. "Why can't I win?" he asked in a depressed voice.

Nikita wrapped his arms around Erik, not knowing how to respond.  He nuzzled against the man's back, silently supporting him.