Kirou slowly relaxed as the strage auras were left behind them. "Thank you, Hotohori-sama," he said softly.

Hoto nodded as he gave the horse its head and let it rome  where it pleased. A lot had happend in a short time and he needed time to think alone... but he was with kirou, which was the same as being alone because kirou was a part of him  that thought made him smile

Kirou was quiet, letting Hotohori's aura souround him comfortinly and compleatly.  He gave a small soft sigh, relaxing a bit more.

Hotohori chuckled as he thought back onthe last dou they meet, "Kirou, what did you think about the boy in the collar?

Kirou shuddered slightly, curlign agaist Hotohori closer.  "He..." He swollowed nervously. "He was too much like me..." he said in a very soft voice.

"Does that bother you Angel?"

Kirou nodded slightly. "I..." he hesitated, then lowered his head to rest his foehead agaist Hotohori's back. "Collars are for slaves," he said very softly. "When-- when you have nothing, people..." He closed his eyes, trying to keep himself calm. "People think they can do anything because you can't do anything back...."

Hoto thought about that and thought back to the boy, Nikita... "Even when you have no possession, people still have no right ot own you. I think Nikita knows this, he didn't look helpless and i think he was happy with Erik"

Kirou nodded. "I'm sorry..." he said softly, leaning his cheak agaist Hotohori's back. "I just..." he hesistated. "I've been in a situation where someone tried...." He pressed his lips together a moment. "The boy... Nikita... he had a brand... on his aura..." he said very softly.  "Someone once... tried to..." He bit his lip, closing his eyes before they could water at the memory.  "I'm sorry," he repeated in a very quiet voice.

Hoto once again felt that Kirou was hidding something from him, but this time he wanted to see how much Kirou would let him know "Is this something you've gone through Kirou?"

Kirou nodded. He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself again. "There was... a man," he said with some difficulty. "He... it was so soon after... after my parents..." He pressed his lips together tightly a moment trying to keep himself together. "After my parents threw me away... and he was... he said he'd take care of me and--  and I went with him and he--" He took a shudderly breath. "He said he wanted to show everyone that I was his and he... he brough this... out of the fire..." Kirou's voice shook slightly. "And said he-- he was going to mark me and I-- I couldn't stop him and Tatsu couldn't stop him and I--" He clentched his eyes closed tightly as if to ward off the memory. "I could feel the heat and I--  I just screamed and I---" He shook his head slightly. "Tatsu managed to  blind him enough so I could run..." He curled up agaist Hotohori, trying to keep from shaking.

Hoto stiffened as he listend to the story, rage building in him at Kirou's past injustice. But not only was that the past, it was also a different world and there was nothing he could do about. Of course that reasoning didn't stop him from being pissed. In a tight voice, " Did he mark you?"

Kirou shook his head. "I-- I don't know how, but I-- I got away."

Hoto nodded and relaxed slightly but was still mad. "No one can own another Kirou. Not even if you are makered by another, they can't own you," and to lightne the situation he half turn and smiled at him, " Just want you desperatly."

Kirou smiled slightly and hugged Hotohori tightly. "Thank you..." he said softly, letting Hotohori's aura flow over him and calm him again.

Turning back around he pretend to pondered the landscape while he thought about what kirou had told him, "Angel, is that why you are so afraid of being close to me? Because i'll claim you like that?"

"I..." Kirou hesitated a moment. "Maybe..." he admitted softly, shoulders slumping slightly. "I guess I just can't beleive something this wonderful could be real..." He closed his eyes, leaning agaist Hotohori again. "I'm always afraid it's all going to go hidiously wrong like everyother time...."

Softly,"Sometimes i think its alla dream to, and i'll wake up and you'll be gone again, but this time you won't come back. Noneof the stories ever end with the king living happily ever after"

Kirou gave a small smile. "So how do we both stop being so afraid of everything shattering?" he asked softly.

Hoto stopped the horse and turned in the saddle to look at kirou, " Do you believe that i love you?"

Kirou looked up, eyes wide a moment and blinking.  "I..." he trailed off, looking away again, not sure how to answer.

Troubled, hoto persisted, "Do you love me?"

Kirou nodded, eyes echoing his emotion.

Hoto nodded" i believe you and that keeps me from madly looking for you every second ofthe day, know you love me and will be there. How can i prove to you that i love you?"

Kirou again looked at Hotohori with wide, suprised eyes. "Hotohori-sama..." he said in a whisper of near disbeleif.  He hugged the man tightly, feeling as if he would cry from emotional overload.

Hoto felt a tear slide down his cheek and into kirous hair as he wraped his arms tightly around his lover, "How do i tell you that i love you Angel? How do i makeyou believe that? How do i give you the comfert i need? How do i love an angel" Hoto was reduced to half snobs and babbling, but he didn't care, making Kirou believe that he was more important then life itself was the only thing on his mi

Kirou continued hugging the man, almost in shock. "Ho--Hotohori-sama?" he asked in a small, almost confused voice.

"I.. don't.. .." Hoto took a deep breath to try and calm himself down, "I don't know what to do anymore Kirou. I've doneeverything i could think of to prove to you i love you more then life itself and its still not enough. I just don't know what to do...."

"I--" Kirou began, unsteadily. "Hotohori-sama, I--  I'm sorry..." he said in a near whisper.

Hoto blinked at Kirou andthen smiled, , brushing his hand down his cheek and wispering, "Ahhh angel, tis not your fault. I knew you would be a hard one to wue and the fault is in me. Someday, i'll do something right and  then you'll know that i love you"

With that he turned around and nudge the horse forward again

"You know," his voice sounded like he had not being crying 5 seconds ago, almsot like it had never happened," my sensei once told me that love was a one way street. Everyone feels love differently so no one can asked to be loved the same way because it's impossible. His words are startingto make sense now"

Kirou blinked, utterly confused.  "I-- I'm sorry...?" he asked, voice uncertin.  He almost despratly wished there was a place they could stop so he could see Hotohori's face. It was easier to figure people out when you could see their expresions....

No sooner then he had wished a clearing appeared in the woods with a small pagoda.

Hoto chuckled at Kirou, "There is nothing to be sorry for little one, do not take the blame when there is none. Ahh a clearing! , shall we stop?"

Kirou smiled slighly and nodded.

Hoto directed the animal to the clearing and decided it was a good time for a change of subject," So what did you think about Astor and Cole?" he asked while dismounting and helping Kirou dismount

Kirou accepted Hotohori;s help, smiling.  "They had strange auras..." he said, voice slightly thoughtful.  "They've both been alot of places... and the silver one is just... odd.." Kirou scruched his face slightly, recalling the image.  "Almost like... the inverse of An'ei's... but not...?"

Hoto cataloged this information careful but on the outside, waved it off," Ahh so they said, try not to think to hard on it dear, it will give you a headache. I'm certain things will be made clear and i feel no danger here"

"Sometimes we worry ourselves over nothing and i have other things worthy of my attention then Astor and Coles pasts" with that he winked at Kirou and lead him over to the pagoda

Kirou blinked, then realized Hotohori's meaning and smiled, blushing slightly.

Hoto set Kirou down in the pagoda "Wait here angel and i will go see if i can find some food, alright?" and he needed time to think.. about kirou, without being in his presence

Kirou hesitated a moment, then nodded, bowing his head.

Hoto smiled and tipped his head up to kiss his nose, "Have no fear angel, i will stay within yelling range and i'll leave the horse for company. Alright?I will be back you know"

Kirou nodded, smiling slightly.
 
 

Hoto walked away again, turning only once to wave at kirou before moving int othe shealter of the trees. He relished in the freedom of being alone, completely alone and the absolute silence it brought. Except he wasn't alone. He could feel his connection with the other seishi through his symbol as he always had his entire life, and more promential were his thoughts and at the top of those was Kirou. He chidded himself for lossing control and babbling at him, as if Kirou wasn't confused enough and he began to re-examine everything that he had said to kirou sense they first meet.

As he walked beneath the trees, moving from shadow to sunlight and back again, his thoughts drifted through encounts with kirou. What was he doing wrong? why couldn't kirou see how much he loved him? the silly child

Hoto stopped dead in his tracks, pain and realization writen on his face. Thats what he had done wrong. 4 out of 5 times that Hoto spent with Kirou, he had treated the other man like a child

He sunk slowly to the ground, resting his back against the nearest tree and felt like crying. Completely unintentionally, Hoto had duely insulted Kirou and distanced himself from him. In other words, everything he had been trying not to do

after about 5 mins of having "why" and "you idiot" run through his hea, his mind began to form itself into sentences again

Now he knew what he was doing, but how to change? He resolved to start treating Kirou like an equal and not as some precious thing to be tucked away or guided like a small child

With that in mind, he got up and concentrated on food, which was suprisingly easy, cuz he had somehow managed to to sit next to a berry patch and all around him were fallen nuts. Gather some he took them back to Kirou
 

Kirou sat quietly, thinking.  He had very little idea what had happened, except that Hotohori-sama had gotten upset.  Kirou bit his lip, feeling the all to familar suspicion that he had screwed up and that things were starting to crumble.  He buried his face in his hands, trying to keep himself calm.  He shouldn't have told Hotohori-sama about his past.  That was what had started everything crumbling. He shouldn't have admitted he was afraid, he should have...

He gave a deep depressed sigh. But it was too late for that now, he knew.

Maybe Hotohori-sama would forget he had spoken, and everything could go back the way it was before and Kirou could try and be stronger...

He bit his lip, looking at the ground, trying to keep depression from overwhelming him.  'Useless,' harsh voices assulted him from his memory.  'Broken trash,' another sneared.  'You're no good to anyone like that!'

Dispite his best efforts to hold them back, tears began to trickle down his cheaks.

Hoto ran back int othe clearing, excited with his own find. Kirou hadn't moved an inch and he approached him slowly, almost afraid of what he would find, "Kirou.....?"

Kirou swore internaly, quickly wiping his tears away and trying to look like he hadn't been crying. "Hotohori-sama," he smiled.

Hoto dropped the food he was carring and dropped to his knees besides kirou, "Oh angel, i'm sorry. I made you cry! I wasn't gone for that long was i?"

"No, no!" Kirou protested. "It--it wasn't your fault," he said, voice softening again, lowering his eyes.

Hoto paused and then leand forward, kissing Kirou, "I love you Kirou, your past, present and future, i love it and i love you"

Kirou's eyes widened in surpise a moment before closing half way as he melted into the kiss, relaxing in releif.